I really needed to read this today.
I really needed to read this today.
Mother’s day with my daughter this year was incredible.
Honestly, I have no complaints. We had a great day. We laughed and played and blew bubbles and ate dinner with my family. It was peaceful. The last couple of mothers day haven’t been the best, and it’s a holiday that is always pretty hard for me considering that my mom died of cancer a few years ago.
Which because I can’t spend it with her physically, I make it a point to put flowers on her grave every year for the holiday. And that’s when the conversation started with my four year old about cancer.
She knows my mom is in heaven. She and I talk about it every once in a while, but when we were at the cemetery she said to me “Your mom is in heaven right? She got sick with cancer right? What’s cancer?”
Now, I will never lie to my daughter. Kids are smart. Smarter than sometimes we give them credit for. But honestly, How can I explain cancer to a toddler? I don’t even know how to explain it to an adult. How do you explain to your child about something so destructive. It destroyed my mother. It took someone away from me I will never get back. How do you tell that to an innocent four year old girl?
If there’s one thing in the whole world I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, it’s watching someone they love go through cancer. I don’t want to explain the pain and anguish to my daughter. I go to bed and pray that she will never have to go through it. Whether it be me, Andrew, or her grandparents. I had a scare a couple of years ago, and it honestly terrified me, not for myself, but for my child. It takes a piece of your innocence when you watch one of the strongest people in your life, the person who used to protect you and bandage you when you were hurt, be in pain and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s frustrating, its sickening, it’s indescribable.You want to be mad, but you don’t know who to be mad at. You watch them fight a battle that they don’t deserve to fight, that you wish you could fight for them. You appreciate the good days, and hold your breath through the bad ones. People look at you differently, people who haven’t talked to you in years, apologizing for your pain, like it will make things better. Watching a love one fight the battle of cancer is a heartbreak like no other, because it’s one that can never be healed in time. It’s something you feel in someway, somehow for all time.
Still, even so many years later, the word cancer leaves a dirty taste in my mouth. And it’s something I described to my daughter as this: “Cancer is something that makes you very sick, and sometimes it makes you so sick that you have to go to heaven after you get it. That’s what happened to my mom anyways, but don’t worry. She is watching over you. She is one of your many guardian angels.”
What an awful thing to explain to a four year old.
Trieste (Italy) August 25, 1985, Nike exhibition game with Michael Jordan in which he scores 30 points and shatters the backboard with a dunk.
Jimmy Kimmel tricked people at Coachella into professing their love for bands that don’t exist, and it is absolutely hysterical.
NEW VIDEO: “How To Takeover Disneyland” - I’ll be checking out people who share this video by reblogging! I always need new blogs to stalk/follow :]
Met Ball. Jennifer Lawrence photobombs Sarah Jessica Parker.
The. best. thing. ever.
New record this Summer… Not a Born and Raised “plus”… A new group of songs to bring the whole thing up to date with Summer 2013. I have that hunger that always precedes something meaningful. See you all soon. And thanks for the warm welcome back to the stage. Getting back on it a little at a time.
(mostly white) (mostly male) writers, on writing.
Proof men age better than women.